


Short 15 - Alone

by stgjr



Series: "The Power of a Name" Series 2 - "Time Lord Triumphant" [9]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005), Multi-Fandom, NCIS
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Multiple Crossovers, Multiverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-29
Updated: 2017-03-29
Packaged: 2018-10-12 15:52:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10494294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stgjr/pseuds/stgjr
Summary: Our narrator seeks a way to get through his loneliness following Jan and Cami's departure from the TARDIS.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on May 30th, 2014.

The TARDIS was silent.  
  
I sat in the library with a book in hand, a 49th Century quantum theory work in some cosmos you've probably never heard of because nobody's put it on TV yet. Quantum state and information theory was becoming both interesting and useful.  
  
But it was getting hard to read. The silence was distracting.  
  
I had gotten used to noise here. The noise of one or two people sloshing about in the pool, giggling and laughing and fussing like... well, like a couple meant for each other.  
  
Janias and Camilla. It'd only been two days and I already ached to have them back.  
  
I could just go back to them. Any time I wanted. See if they'd recovered, if they wanted to take a trip with me... _No_. I couldn't do that. I wouldn't. I...  
  
 _I didn't want to be alone_.  
  
Frustrated I threw the book aside and left the library. I'd changed a few rooms over time. But I hadn't yet removed their rooms. I looked in on them and found... nothing. Just empty mattresses and a few furnishings they hadn't desired to keep. Their dressing room was mostly empty as well, only a few sets of clothes remaining that they had grown out of as a richer diet (and exercise, given all the running) had filled them out a little from when I'd first met them.  
  
I found myself idly walking into the TARDIS control room. It was silent too.  
  
It was all so silent.  
  
I let out a cry of frustration and sank onto a set of stairs. Here, alone, all I had were my thoughts. Thoughts of who I was and what I was becoming and what I was going to do.  
  
And worst of all, thoughts on whether I'd ever been Human in the first place.  
  
Oh, yes, I've long relayed to you that fact. But in my mind at the time, even the very concept was becoming slippery. I had no memories of a Human Life. I remembered waking up on that Sith station with a lot of knowledge in my head, and that was it. Maybe I'd been wrong to think I was Human. Maybe I'd always been Time Lord and never known it, and it was just that I had a natural rapport with Humans to the extent that I felt myself Human. The girls had been solid in maintaining my origins, but how did I know they hadn't been mislead by my confusion?  
  
When they had been around, the conviction in their voices had been enough to reassure me. But now... now it seemed like the entire thought of being Human originally was no longer sticking to my head. Their constant reinforcement had kept it there, keeping my memories of the fact fresh. Without them around...  
  
I suspected it was more evidence of how my mind had been tampered with.  
  
"I need to stop blubbering," I grumbled. Which, of course, meant I was talking to myself. "I know what to do."  
  
Yes, indeed, I knew what to do. And so I started operating the TARDIS controls.  
  
  
  
  
"No."  
  
I blinked at the answer and how sudden it was. "No?"  
  
"No. Sorry, Doctor, but I'm just too busy, and..." I was faced with a confused look. "What happened to Jan and Cami?"  
  
The question was a stab into the hearts. "They... are no longer with me."  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry." A pair of arms wrapped around me in a tight hug.  
  
No, not just a tight hug. Something more than that.  
  
An Abby-hug.  
  
Abigail Sciuto gave me the tightest hug she could manage. Her pigtails of raven-black hair bounced a little as she moved her head. "I'm so sorry to hear that. What happened?"  
  
As we were in her apartment, I let her lead me to a chair at her table. There I described to her what had happened with the Borg and how badly hurt Jan and Cami had been by the experience. This, predictably, earned me another Abby-hug. "You mean you actually let some super robot hive mind take over your brain?"  
  
"I let them _try_."  
  
"And then you infected them with a trojan." Abby laughed. "That is so cool."  
  
Despite myself I smirked, although it turned bittersweet. "The damage had already been done to poor Jan and Cami, though."  
  
"Yeah. I mean, I can't imagine... well, okay, I can imagine, but..." She looked down into her cup of Caf-POW. "So that's why you came to me?"  
  
"You've traveled with me before, and you loved it," I pointed out. "And it would take me years to even begin to scratch the surface of everything I can show you."  
  
"I know, and I'm flattered and all, but... my life's here, Doctor, not out there."  
  
I nodded at that. All things told I wasn't surprised, as much as I had hoped for a different answer from her. "I understand, Abby, I just wanted to make the offer." I sighed and lowered my eyes.  
  
I felt her hand take mine. "Doctor, I'm sure I'm not the only friend you've got," Abby assured me. "Will you do me a favor?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Before you go? See Ducky. He'll talk to you." Abby gave me those puppy dog eyes that were irresistible to anyone who's last name wasn't Gibbs. " _Please._ "  
  
I nodded and smiled thinly. "I will indeed."  
  
  
  
  
Doctor Mallard was home when I materialized the TARDIS near the door, just out of sight of the road. I knocked and waited while, from within, the growing sound of footsteps finally ended and, a second later, the door opened. Ducky was in his housecoat, looking like he was preparing to enjoy a day in-doors in what admittedly looked to be imminently-rainy weather, tending no doubt to one hobby or another. "Ah, Doctor," he greeted me amiably. "Do come in."  
  
I was soon enough in what looked to be a living room and a study put together. Ducky had a bottle of a favored spirit at the table as well as some coffee and tea prepared. I went for the tea and we settled in. By this point the imminence was no longer part of the weather situation; rain was pouring outside of the window. "Such a shame," Ducky lamented. "I had been hoping to be out today."  
  
"Yes, but the weather does tend to ignore one's plans," I remarked. "At least it's not unseasonably chilly, yes?"  
  
"Quite." Ducky took a drink and indicated a plate. "Biscuits?"  
  
I was aware that my stomach was on the empty side, so I accepted them. They were English-style breakfast biscuits, of course, and I took some butter and applied it to them.  
  
After we'd taken a few bites Ducky washed his food down with another drink and asked, "I suspect it has been more time for you than for us. How is your mind?"  
  
"Locked shut," I replied. "I... to be honest, Ducky, I can't even convince myself I was once Human at this point. I feel just as much like I could be an amnesiac Time Lord who thought he was once Human."  
  
"And those lovely young friends of yours? Surely they..." Ducky saw the pained look in my face and his expression fell. "Ah, I see. Oh dear."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"It's never easy when the Doctor loses his Companions," Ducky said in a low, compassionate tone. "What happened?"  
  
I explained it to him. He visibly shuddered as I laid out what the Borg did to the girls.  
  
The most important thing was that Ducky did not do what a well-meaning man might have done. Such a man would have tried to re-assure me with "At least you saved them". He, thankfully, knew better.  
  
"You've never been alone before, have you?", he asked.  
  
"In my actual memories? No. Almost from the time I woke up, I have had them with me."  
  
"I see." He sighed deeply. "Yes, I can imagine that is much worse. In your mental state, I don't think you should be alone. I'm guessing you asked Abby to consider traveling with you?"  
  
"I did. She said no."  
  
"Yes, it has been a trying time for us all as of late. And Abby is so devoted to us. Jethro especially." Ducky took a sip. "Any other candidates?"  
  
"I've considered many, but all have some form of obligation that would hold them back. Abby seemed the most likely." And indeed I had; the next name on my list was Princess Ana from Arendelle, but she had her obligations as well.  
  
"Well, perhaps you should resume your travels. Often times the Doctor meets his Companions out of the blue like that."  
  
"Yes." I took another bite myself. "I miss them, Ducky. I came so close to begging them to stay."  
  
"I would imagine." His face was full of compassion. "You did the right thing by leaving them to their lives."  
  
I nodded slightly. In my head I began to think about things and wondered if I would ever get over this. Jan and Cami had been my last links to my lost Humanity. Now they were gone. Now all I had left was this identity I had made for myself.  
  
I was the Doctor now. And that meant I had to act like the Doctor and not mope around.  
  
"Keep faith," Ducky said, jolting me from my thoughts. "You'll find someone down the road who wants to see everything out there."  
  
"Yes..." My thoughts focused as I thought about what he said. I knew my expression shifted as I let Ducky's words roll in my head. "Yes indeed."  
  
"You look like a man deep in thought."  
  
"Just... musing, i suppose."  
  
"Well, muse away. It does you well to get your mind off of things."  
  
We finished the breakfast and I gently inquired as to the others. This let me get a time fix on events, apparently just after the attack on Gibbs' father by the Reynosas. "I think you'll find that things turn out alright on this," I remarked.  
  
"Ah. And would that be because you know or just a guess?"  
  
I smiled slyly. "Jethro Gibbs is one of those men that I would find it safe to bet for on every occasion, Ducky."  
  
"I'll extend the complement."  
  
When the discussion was over the rain storm had left. "Well, if that was all, you might yet get your time outdoors," I remarked. "I, for one, shall get going."  
  
"I'm glad you came by for this talk." Ducky stood as I did. He escorted me to the door. The ground outside was wet from the rainstorm and the shining sun meant the humidity would be climbing. Ducky offered my his hand. "It was good to see you again, Doctor. Good luck to you."  
  
I accepted the hand. "Great to see you, Ducky. Thank you for giving me an ear."  
  
When I returned to the TARDIS I stopped at the control panel, my thoughts zeroing in on what Ducky had remarked. That I would run into someone who wanted to join me in seeing the Multiverse.  
  
He was right. Someone _would_. And I even had a good idea as to whom.  
  
And that meant... it was time to get to work.  
  
So I shifted the TARDIS out, eager to see if I could fill the void I felt within me.


End file.
